That's nothing compared to the beating with rods he's going to get in Turkish prison.

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What the hell do you think is going to happen when you paint some guy's Mercedes?

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Well at least they got it into the water, just not in one piece.

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Remind me not to be a war reporter unless they give me a tank to do my reporting from.

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No Fourth Amendment rights for you. Not yours.

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My jar of dirt is cooler than your jar of dirt.

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Semis usually rule the road, but a train is gonna kick its ass no problem.

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Mole freckle, motherfucker, can you say it?

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Apparently even if you win a rollerblade race, you still lose.

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That actually looks like a hell of a good time.

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Remind me never to get arrested in Mexic.

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Sorry bitch, this beach is boys only!

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You damn dirty ape!

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Ditzy blonde reporters are annoying as hell, so she definitely deserved this.

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Some morons apparently needed an object lesson in why harassing large predators is a bad idea.

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Someone ate the spicy sausage again, didn't they?

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Impaling yourself on an iron fence will only keep you out of jail until the doctors stitch your sorry ass up.

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Cop had his gun out, dude is lucky he only got maced.

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I suppose playing football in high school does teach you some life-saving skills...

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Baby, I got a python in my pants... no, seriously, this snake crawled up my shorts and won't come out.

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