Ditzy blonde reporters are annoying as hell, so she definitely deserved this.

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Some morons apparently needed an object lesson in why harassing large predators is a bad idea.

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Someone ate the spicy sausage again, didn't they?

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Impaling yourself on an iron fence will only keep you out of jail until the doctors stitch your sorry ass up.

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Cop had his gun out, dude is lucky he only got maced.

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I suppose playing football in high school does teach you some life-saving skills...

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Baby, I got a python in my pants... no, seriously, this snake crawled up my shorts and won't come out.

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Well your baby is a retard, but your dog is pretty damn smart.

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Just because the other girl is hot while you're a fat troll is no reason to slap her.

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If you're desperate enough to fuck a park bench, you might have bigger problems than getting your dick stuck in it...

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This is the only thing that could possibly have made "The Dark Knight" better.

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Most stores keep guns under the counter. Gun stores apparently keep German Shepherds under the counter.

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I'm pretty sure a motorcycle wouldn't do too well in a head-on with a passenger vehicle.

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Don't imply that this dude is gay, or he'll fuck your mother and assault you with a pen.

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You know what'd be a shitty job? Being the guy who has to keep coked-up sluts from strangling each other in between sucking cock.

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In Vegas, she could probably have found some guy who'd pay her to pee on him, and not have gotten arrested for it.

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If he wanted to get his balls all over her, he succeeded.

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Seriously, how hard is it to get your car washed without destroying the place? Pretty hard, apparently.

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Red lights usually mean "stop", unless you're this dumbass.

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This guy seriously needs to lay off the booze and get on an anger management program.

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