Well your baby is a retard, but your dog is pretty damn smart.

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Just because the other girl is hot while you're a fat troll is no reason to slap her.

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If you're desperate enough to fuck a park bench, you might have bigger problems than getting your dick stuck in it...

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This is the only thing that could possibly have made "The Dark Knight" better.

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Most stores keep guns under the counter. Gun stores apparently keep German Shepherds under the counter.

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I'm pretty sure a motorcycle wouldn't do too well in a head-on with a passenger vehicle.

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Don't imply that this dude is gay, or he'll fuck your mother and assault you with a pen.

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You know what'd be a shitty job? Being the guy who has to keep coked-up sluts from strangling each other in between sucking cock.

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In Vegas, she could probably have found some guy who'd pay her to pee on him, and not have gotten arrested for it.

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If he wanted to get his balls all over her, he succeeded.

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Seriously, how hard is it to get your car washed without destroying the place? Pretty hard, apparently.

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Red lights usually mean "stop", unless you're this dumbass.

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This guy seriously needs to lay off the booze and get on an anger management program.

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You keep it classy now, ladies.

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Congratulations, you're officially the biggest dork in the universe.

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At least there were plenty of EMTs on site... but I bet the dude whose house burned down because of this was pissed.

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And to think he endured those injuries for an almost-empty audience too...

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This would be a lot more amusing if they did it over a pit full of crocodiles.

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See, this is why reporters shouldn't try and be "hip". Giant plastic balls will run you over from behind.

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I seriously have no idea what is going on here.

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